This house is dying from the inside out.
Don't let the glimmering corpselight fool you.
Funeral flowers bloom close and thick
and suffocate the crumbling brick.
Cancers writhe within its womb.
Rafters rot, but fail to fall.
This house is dying from the inside out.
A tomb with alabaster walls.
for Open Link Monday at Real Toads.
26 comments:
Ooooh creepy and cool and corpselight (now that is a word for a challenge!)...love it!
Beautifully sinister!
Very cool!! I like that this poem gives this building a life that it's losing. I feel that way about my house sometimes...every time I turn around something else needs fixing. I also like the metaphor of this though, it needn't be an actual house at all. Great write!!
Personification and metaphor FTW. Nothing creepier than a womb reference in that context either. The rhyme and meter accentuate the wrongness within.
shivers....dark and gritty MZ...def the womb line kicks this up a notch...and no matter how pretty the walls or light its whats inside thta matters most...
I love this; it is so full of contradiction. The things that normally denote life and vitality (light, flowers) are here turned around and mean decay and rot. I like the rafters that rot but don't fall...it just increases the sense of this house being an alabaster facade, pretending one thing while actually being something quite different, and doomed. You are very very good at these "short stories" which are contained in your poems. I love them.
It really does look like that... like a cold instituion.
Awesome painting MZ, and the whole metaphor of rotting out from the inside, know all about that too, too well. Great piece. Thanks
Very creepy poem, MZ. Sadly, there are too many houses like that, their inhabitants the casualties.
interesting how you found those funeral flowers. (i didn't see them) great imagination
neither good nor bad
Agree with Joy about the womb. this was deliciously dark and at the same time I think there are a lot of buildings with that fort of history for real....great job.
Fantastic writing, Mama Zen!
I thought it was a creepy pic too :)
nice write MZ
As usual, your poetry is full of delightful, image stirring and thought provoking imagery. Well done.
No question about it, Mama Z; you can write!
Thanks, powerful image this one , MZ
i think Shay nailed what makes this poem so exceptional - I'll add the thought which was upper most in my mind as I read: You take a picture many write for, and turn the expected response upside down. You have a very original vision.
corpselight! holy hell, that's magnificent.
Excellent, edgy words.
I love it! Reminds me of the book I'm reading right now (if I could tear myself away from Pinterest) called, "The Little Stranger". All about a post WWI house that is falling apart and the strange people who inhabit it.
Your writing is always sharp, fun and enjoyable.
Quick, send for a builder! LOL
Dark and delicious...houses do have a personality all their own...take heed...
A Mag with an edgy twist! We tend to focus on outward appearance, way too often. Need to pay attention to what's going on inside.
intensely felt.
the contrast of imagery to meaning (as has been noted) is exceptional.
the womb, flower, light - things that usually denote life and growth and vigor, are here shown to be home to death that doesn't ever fully die and decay and endless rot.
things are so seldom what they appear.
really enjoyed this.
This makes me shudder. A house as opposed to a home. Well done!
Hopper will do that to you. Nicely said.
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