Friday, May 18, 2012

Stillness

In the stillness,                                                                                                                          In barest light.


I will seek you,                                                                                                                          I am waiting.


and I will listen                                                                                                                         Hear me whisper

for your voice                                                                                                                            sweet everythings.


Two points of view for Real Toads

23 comments:

Mary said...

MZ, I love the two voices in this poem, the way you alternated them. Each 'voice' would be a poem complete in itself. Woven together they are 'art.'

Peggy said...

Ah ha! You seem to be more successful than I at getting the format of two woven columns to post on your blog. I have this in my poem as well and could not get it to post the way I intended. Oh and I like the words and message of your poem as well!

Fireblossom said...

I love the call and response. Amen! And the twist on sweet nothings "sweet everythings" is totally cool.

Hannah said...

Oh, I really like what Mary said, Mama Zen, I shouldn't have read comments now hers is forefront! It is so true though...pure art! I love the way you staggered your second voice. Really visually beautiful! Great poem!

Hannah said...

Also I agree with fireblossom on sweet everythings, very cool!!

Brian Miller said...

this is very delicate, i like the rather call and response feel to it MZ

Daydreamertoo said...

So gentle, it almost felt like I wanted to whisper reading it :)
Very cool write MZ

Buddah Moskowitz said...

Nicely done, it's a great dialogue.

Martin said...

It fills me with sighs, so I love it.

Fred Rutherford said...

This is very good. I did a piece similar to this a few months ago, this piece is what I wish mine had come out like. Great job. Thanks

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Absolutely stellar!

hedgewitch said...

Simple, but real. Nice one, MZ.

PattiKen said...

l love this. Two hearts speaking to each other.

Kay L. Davies said...

Fabulous, MZ, so well done. You're super at packing a lot of meaning into a few words.
K

Sylvia K said...

This is really moving and you are indeed terrific at putting so much feeling/meaning into so few words! I love the simplicity that says it all.

Teresa said...

Love the way you've divided this between the two points of view.

Kerry O'Connor said...

One could read each half as a separate poem. The power comes from reading them together.

happygirl said...

You nailed it. :)

Heaven said...

Beautiful work MZ ~ I love it ~

Ella said...

Well Done,
I can hearing you whispering ;D

Mystic_Mom said...

Love <3 love love

This is so very good.

haikulovesongs said...

you KNOW i absolutely ADORE this, MZ! superb!!!

Judy Roney said...

This poem is so peaceful and I like the form.