Please promise me that you will never tell
about that kiss that day down by the well,
the way cool water passed between sweet lips,
or how I yielded to soft fingertips.
Don't whisper of how swiftly virtue fell
with commonsense and camisole as well
to lie forgotten as spring parted me
with words and wondrous tongue so wickedly.
Yes, promise me that you will never tell
about what passed that day down by the well.
For if you do, I shall be forced to claim
to be sinned against . . . and name your name.
So, see silence be golden after all
and never speak a word of what you saw.
Linking to Open Link Monday at Real Toads
29 comments:
this is a great poem, it invites...and since i'm invited, i'm tellin' :)
It's a beautiful sonnet, Kelli. I can't write them, so my hat is off to you.
terrific write, you make it look so easy
I love this!
I love it, too! And you do make it look so easy! Damn! wish it was!
ha you need to pick a little more inconspicuous place besides the well you know...nice form mz
Very old school, with just the little MZ twist of the tail at the end--great job on the form and the meter is perfect--I tip the witchy sonnet bonnet to you.
Really fine job MZ. Commonsense and camisole, just love how that came out there. Thanks
I like this a log, MZ.
The form is sweetly done (a sonnet, I read) and the zinger at the end so "MZ". LOVED it.
Might be blackmail...but I ain't tellin'.
You give a very good reason here, why a boy should never kiss and tell.
I loved this.
very good indeed, content and form.
I wouldn't tell if I was the boy - but I'm a girl so I totally see...
Great form.
Everything good always happens down by the well....I wish I had a well...lol. Loved this, creat pace and rhyme a true sonneteer...its like a musketeer only hotter.
Fantastic sonnet. Has been years since I tried one. I love the way the poem comes full circle. Just lovely.
I agree with everything that others have said about the sonnet form and your diction.very well crafted indeed.
Nice poetry form (which I haven't tried it) and like the yielding to the kiss and sin ~ Sweet silence it is ~
"or how I yielded to soft fingertips" ... Uh-oh. This isn't going to end well. :)
LOVE this: "Don't whisper of how swiftly virtue fell
with commonsense and camisole as well"
"forced to claim
to be sinned against" ... Wicked.
"and name your name" ... Even more wicked.
Love the sound, repetition, and story. Great job, Kelli.
Really wicked. Not spoken with malice, sounds more like recall and I bet the one it is addressed to hope it happens again.
Enjoyed this sonnet. :)
Sounds like it was an intriguing kiss.
Congrats on placing in the top 10 of Poetic Asides tanka challenge!
LOl at Herotomost....this does make Well-having seem seductive. Great piece of work, lady
Love it! Such a sweet form for expressing such coercive thoughts!
It's delightful! Loved it!
Why, I do believe I sense a bit of blackmail going on here! :)
Are There No Raindrops?
Sinfully wonderful! I loved every word.
You've managed to make indiscretion and threats sound so lovely!
This piece is lyrical, erotic and eerily worrisome. Nice work.
http://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2012/05/08/boldly/
Oo, naughty but nice?!
I had to come back and read this one again. It's extremely well done, like something by Christina Rossetti.
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