Wednesday, May 30, 2012


When weeds were still flowers
and time was more white than gray,
you could let your feet dangle in the water
without fear of teeth beneath.
All was saccharine and sweet.
Then came Progress
and the Genetically Modified Orgasm.

No one is quite sure how it happened.
Some claim that it was discovered
by a lone female scientist
after years of solitary research.
Others blame frack fumes or the French.
Regardless of from which loose loins it sprang,
the GMO threw the world into shuddering, writhing chaos.

Religious leaders condemned it as an abomination
and issued warnings against Fruitless Fornication for Fun.

Liberals applauded it as Climax We Can Believe In
and promised access for everyone . . . you know, someday.

Conservatives held firm
and continued to dismiss all talk
of any female orgasm as mere myth.

And, so, the Genetically Modified Orgasm might have languished
forgotten in some lab somewhere forever
had it not been for the bravery of women.
Just as they had for thousands of years,
women took their orgasms into their own hands.
For the vote, these savage suffragettes might settle
for starvation and signs,
but for the Genetically Modified Orgasm
they traded their femininity for foxholes
and went to war . . .

where they still are . . .

under the banner of the Snake & Apple.

Kind of a Steampunk thing (sort of?) for Kerry's prompt at Real Toads


hedgewitch said...

This is perfect snark with a nice sinking ball of molten lead in the middle to burn away the BS--loved every word of it, and I'd say yes, we were definitely frollicking in the same genetically modified gene pool.

Fireblossom said...

The French. It was definitely the French!

Mary said...

What a hoot!!

Sylvia K said...

Well, you just made my afternoon, MZ!! I was in serious need of a laugh!!

rosemary mint said...

"issued warnings against Fruitless Fornication for Fun" ... Too funny. :)

The ending is perfect:
"and went to war
where they still are
under the banner of the Snake & Apple"

Buddah Moskowitz said...

Loved this.

"Just as they had for thousands of years,
women took their orgasms into their own hands."


Mary Ann Potter said...

Really unique! I enjoyed your tone here. Nifty take on the prompt.

Marian said...

I. LOVE. THIS. A++ from me! yay.

Susan said...

Too funny! Solitary Female? Frack fumes? the French? FFFF! Witty end.

Hannah said...

You had me fooled at first when I saw GMO and then when I read orgasm I thought oh hmm a typo and then reading on...bwahahaha!!! This is rendered perfectly, Mama Zen! So fun thank you!

Brian Miller said...

well i guess you have to get them somehow...smiles.

kaykuala said...

This is powerful, MZ! Lots of women things that are brought to the open. We men could only marvel and wonder!
Great verse Ma'am!


Kerry O'Connor said...

Such a refreshing change to read of an innovation which could actually help women on a purely selfish level, without the need to be helping someone else at the same time. So funny, with loads of social commentary between the lines.

happygirl said...

I know I took control of mine a long long time ago. I think this had just the right amount of bite to it. :)

Fred Rutherford said...

nice write MZ. Creative tale, funny at points, subtleness. Really like the second and last stanzas. nice read. Thanks

my heart's love songs said...


Lolamouse said...

Now there's something that might just be worth going to war for!

Isadora Gruye said...

well done. clever and sharp, as per your usual.