Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Drowning


Drowning is unexpectedly exquisite.
The shimmy struggle splash of water
spangling rainbows in the sun.
The ferment of carbon dioxide
boiling beneath shelved and shuddering ribs.
Hands crumpling like abstract origami
as dragon scale eyes slip shut.
A last cacophony of feet 
thudding against glass;
then, a coda of silence so pure it aches.
It is ethereal.

But, then, I only watch.

using the Sunday Whirl words

18 comments:

turtlememoir said...

Brilliant combination of the image and wordle... and I like the caveat (given the first line) ;)

Fred Rutherford said...

Lots of cool imagery here MZ. Very nice. Thanks

hedgewitch said...

Nails the voyeur in us all, especially for others' disasters.

Sioux said...

Makes drowning sound appealing, the lines are so exquisite.

Fireblossom said...

THAT is creepy.

Laurie Kolp said...

Cacaphony of feet and origami hands... this is so vivid, well written!

Grace said...

That last line nails it. Nice piece MZ ~

Adura Ojo said...

...Otherwise known as showing the creative dark side...there is something unnervingly beautiful about this poem.

Brian Miller said...

fug....could not watch someone drown...way too much desperation...and i would not want to either...

Jinksy said...

Hands crumpling like abstract origami


Too long in the bath again, eh? Lovely phrase!! LOL

Kutamun said...

Very Sad- istic , MZee de Sade. I like it. Death becomes you .

Shawna said...

http://rosemarymint.wordpress.com/2012/04/25/thursday-melting/

Come play again, if you're interested.

rosemarymint.wordpress.com

Helen said...

I had to creep and crawl through your poem .. terrified of water as I am. I made it .. and enjoyed every word.

Margaret said...

Gasp! Sickly beautifully.

JJ Roa Rodriguez said...

beautiful!

JJRod'z

Jules said...

Honoring someone else's death wish...
so brief a glimpse into the surreal -
matching the photo too!
An interesting view Mama Zen
My Wordle response can be found here:
http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/2012/04/sugar-and-spice.html

Meg said...

Indeed...we only watch. Nice last line.

Daydreamertoo said...

Very nice take ob both prompts :)