Drowning is unexpectedly exquisite.
The shimmy struggle splash of water
spangling rainbows in the sun.
The ferment of carbon dioxide
boiling beneath shelved and shuddering ribs.
Hands crumpling like abstract origami
as dragon scale eyes slip shut.
A last cacophony of feet
thudding against glass;
then, a coda of silence so pure it aches.
It is ethereal.
But, then, I only watch.
using the Sunday Whirl words
18 comments:
Brilliant combination of the image and wordle... and I like the caveat (given the first line) ;)
Lots of cool imagery here MZ. Very nice. Thanks
Nails the voyeur in us all, especially for others' disasters.
Makes drowning sound appealing, the lines are so exquisite.
THAT is creepy.
Cacaphony of feet and origami hands... this is so vivid, well written!
That last line nails it. Nice piece MZ ~
...Otherwise known as showing the creative dark side...there is something unnervingly beautiful about this poem.
fug....could not watch someone drown...way too much desperation...and i would not want to either...
Hands crumpling like abstract origami
Too long in the bath again, eh? Lovely phrase!! LOL
Very Sad- istic , MZee de Sade. I like it. Death becomes you .
http://rosemarymint.wordpress.com/2012/04/25/thursday-melting/
Come play again, if you're interested.
rosemarymint.wordpress.com
I had to creep and crawl through your poem .. terrified of water as I am. I made it .. and enjoyed every word.
Gasp! Sickly beautifully.
beautiful!
JJRod'z
Honoring someone else's death wish...
so brief a glimpse into the surreal -
matching the photo too!
An interesting view Mama Zen
My Wordle response can be found here:
http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/2012/04/sugar-and-spice.html
Indeed...we only watch. Nice last line.
Very nice take ob both prompts :)
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