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| Photo by Walter Smith |
just under Beethoven's Bridge
was soft as the whispered "yes"
I almost took back
when we were half undressed
and I got scared.
But before I could cry
or deny your touch,
something -
maybe the mail truck-
rattle banged overhead
and dead leaves filled
the hollow air.
You tucked one
behind my ear
and laughed
like a delighted god.
The sand was soft.
For Poetics at dVerse
15 comments:
Incredibly visual - and rather sexy for a rainy Sunday evening :)
Loved it! Delicate and moving too...
Okay, whatever you did in order to get this poem from that picture?... keep doing it.
I love "rattle banged, and the sand as soft as the "yes" the speaker almost takes back. I love the "dead leaves" filling the "hollow air." What you describe here is the life and soul being sucked out of things, leaving just a leaden wrongness. And then, the tucking of the dead leaf behind the ear, and the laughing like a god, make it seem like someone saying, "yes, I'm fucking with you, cos I can." It's creepy and coldly sensual (yes, it is) and autumnal. It's excellent.
You've made this one moment in a relationship, the moment of realism,vulnerability and surrender, just glow with life. Nothing that comes after cancels it out, even the dead leaf.
Whoo-EEE. Glad that sand was soft. I would have imagined a dry rocky creekbed ;)
smoking MZ...some really great touches in this to set the atmosphere...and that moment too fo vulnerability...love it...
I like the soft sand and leaf tucked behind the ear ~
Everyone else has said it all and I can only say ditto!! It's one of your best, most visual, erotic, beautiful and breathtaking. Even my old bones could feel the sand and the leaf!
S
It can be a very short step between that ear brush and feeling the sand! I love the simple, clear ending that says it all.
~Shawna
rosemarymint.wordpress.com
Loved the sensual ending..yes, indeed!
As usual, lovely and spoken with elegant sensuality. You do have that rare ability of pulling from experience its essential moments and relating them to us in a wonderfully warm innocence. Even a dead can live again, rare talent indeed.
This one appeals to all of the senses :)
Well I'm sure he was delighted...
this was cool, really paints a story that fits in extremely well with the artwork. Great job MZ, awesome last line as well
Yes the last line is the clincher for me too..enticing piece..should we go over the bridge..can we ever return..jae ;)
yummy!!
♥
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