Tell me there will be dancing,
drinking,
and music
loud enough to cover my silences.
Tell me every crazy crowded room
will have a quiet corner
fleshed in dark.
Tell me it will be fun (fun! fun!).
Then, ask me if I'd rather
just stay home
and be kissed.
For Open Link Night at dVerse.
46 comments:
I know which one I'd choose. I've had my fill of smokey bars.
oh, this is gorgeous! and I know what I'd choose, in a heartbeat...
Like I could not visit a blog by MamaZen?? Awesome!
Is there a way to go out dancing and stay home being kissed? :-)
Sign me up!
yes, that is the big question, isn't it... lovely.
I know which one my introverted personality would choose most of the time. Nice writing MZ
Right now I'd take either one becaue I've had a lot of alone nights, but truth be told, I'd prefer the latter. :) Great poem! :)
Fun!Fun! is obligatory at parties, yes? That's why I'd probably opt for staying home, even if I only get kissed by the dog. Nice one with a sharp but sweet aftertaste, MZ.
Ha. Very sweet. Agreed! K.
Unless the music is guaranteed to be loud enough to allow my silences...I'm sticking to pj's and strawberry wine! :) Loved it...loved the options!
Hmmmmmm? I think I would rather stay home and be kissed....Great thought provoking poem...thanks!
Stay home ;)
Damn.... that last line...
Meet you at home? ;)
This blew me away - the sharpness of the last line works so well in contrast to the rest of the poem.
And yes, I'd rather be home too, being kissed... It's been so long I've forgotten what a kiss tastes like...
Oh, I'd vote on staying home and having real fun, fun, fun any day :)
hmmm...staying home and being kissed sounds wonderful...but...smiles
Staying home sounds good to me too.
That (fun! fun!) says it all. Go for the kisses.
This is perfect! I'm definitely all for staying home and I'll go for the kisses as well! Terrific!
Yes, I know which one I would choose! Great write!
love the excited feeling at the beginning of the first 2 stanzas then ends with darkness and then realness of you... great write
Oh my God, this went from desperate romantic, to titillating to downright sexy. Home run (and use as many entendre as you want)!
there is a time for everything...some days the party and dancing...others def the staying home and being intimate...nice one mz
Sweet. I'm sure your kissing partner would agree.
Well it's party time for me - I've spent too much time at home alone, and lots of time just waiting to be kissed. However, you're point is wonderfully made and I agree it's fun, intimate and sexy! Good one.
Quiet corners fleshed in dark work just about everywhere, but I do prefer the one in my home. Good torch song MZ - Brendan
Ohhhhh, Mama! "A quiet corner fleshed in dark," so great!! And the open (though I'm pretty sure I know the answer) question at the end? Sublime...
I like this... I have found myself experiencing both moments. Wanting to be at a fantastic party... wanting to stay at home and cuddle.
hmm...good to stay home and be kissed ;)
home and kissed...is there anything bettr...bkm
I wanna go out for a drink and dancing. Home, we can do that Anytime. :)
Sounds like the majority votes for home: me too!
You dun told it! The hook at the end was sealed with a kiss. Nice.
Why not kissed in the corner "fleshed in dark"? Love that line.
I could go for some dancing.
This is a powerful and weighty line: "loud enough to cover my silences"
~Shawna
rosemarymint.wordpress.com
Stay home and be kissed! Wow...that one line gave a beautiful image!
It cannot be just partying and drinking. And lonely is the heart at home. Just a few of each to break the dumps at odd times. Then we'll stay alert!
Hank
Kissing, every time.
Love it - such a wonderful play of oppositions
Love it - such a wonderful play of oppositions
Staying home and being kissed sounds fine to me! Delightful poem.
Love the whole poem, but the last bit is lovely. Sexy and ripe, full of the promise of delights. Great poem.
my social phobia just got played out :) - also its kinda hot too (no cogent explanation - just is:)
I like how you moved from telling to asking, that was neat. Also the beach boys reference I think they sang fun, fun, fun, but anyhow, that was a cool little touch. Very nicely done MZ. Thanks
This was fun fun fun...and I think I know what your answer would be:-)
Wander
Why is it that 'fun, fun' is such a drag? This is so sharp and witty...Nice writing. So concise and focused.
Be careful. Your talent is showing.
"Tell me every crazy crowded room
will have a quiet corner
fleshed in dark."
I love the words "fleshed in dark". That hit me so well. Such a cool way to describe it!
Post a Comment