Saturday, March 3, 2012

Our Song

Photo by Kenia Cris
Between us we knew five chords.
I showed you mine.
You showed me yours.
It seemed like just a matter of time
till we made music.

We each had our pages of words.
I showed you mine.
You showed me yours.
It seemed like just a matter of time
till we had our song

But, the lyrics always came out wrong.

For the Sunday Challenge at Real Toads

22 comments:

Kay L. Davies said...

Oh, I love this. "Between us we knew five chords" — such a hopeful, idealistic beginning, rather like "between us, we can save the world"!
K

Fireblossom said...

When I saw the title, knowing this is you, I said to myself, "something will be screwy with it" and TA DA! i was right!

Brian Miller said...

hehe played that song a long time back...

and played a few other songs in my day too...

Claudia said...

oh no...i was hoping for a happy end.. isn't it a good start to share these chords and words...but yeah...guess that's life...

Brendan said...

"I'll show you mine if you show me yours" was my defining ritual, at age 5 ... What's changed? In it all that yearning that makes the encounter heady, and then the encounter, which always seems too cold, to baldly real in the raw breeze of the exposed. What ever comes true about the things we dream? What will ever keep us from trying yet again? - Brendan

kaykuala said...

It may just be a few chords between them. It is the sharing that counts. A wrong lyric can be 'righted' certainly. Great verse MZ!

Hank

ccchampagne.com said...

This... Simply blew me away!!! Amazing! Fantastic! Ahhhh... *sigh* One of those 'wish I could have written that'-moments! Bravo!

Grace said...

Very nice MZ ~ Too bad the lyrics always come out wrong ~

Tara R. said...

Sometimes the timing is all wrong.

Gail said...

All your words sing!

Mystic_Mom said...

Ah bittersweet...and so well done, almost a song it is so lyrical!

Kerry O'Connor said...

Ugh! So bitter-sweetly written, this song of youth and love not meant to last.

Fred Rutherford said...

cool piece MZ. Really like the repetition using the intro and last lines as the difference. Excellent piece, very songlike. Lyrics always came out wrong, says a lot. Thanks

Mary Ann Potter said...

Sharing chords, trying to write, getting the wrong stuff at the end. Reminded me a little of a period in college even though I graduated in 1967! Memory trigger here. I really liked this poem!!!

Kenia Cris said...

Maybe when you get the song right then it's the right song. I have to believe that. :)

Thanks for participating in the challenge and writing such a thoughful piece.

xo

Margaret said...

Just so darn clever! You are such an inspiration!

Mary Mansfield said...

I think many of us hit some sour notes trying to find that perfect duet partner. Very nice, MZ!

Susie Clevenger said...

Ah life or romance...it starts out well but it ends up singing a different song...nice work

Herotomost said...

Yeah...this is the one I chose too...but you did it justice for sure. Isn't that just the way it is. Loved the repeating chorus and the ending line was absolutely perfect. Great Job.

Old Ollie said...

Oh you can get it done with 5 chords!

ab said...

Instrumental?

Lolamouse said...

I had to chuckle when I read the ending to your poem. This is what my husband jokingly says about most of my poetry--take a beautiful image, call it something like "love" and then everyone dies in the end. Glad it's not just me!