Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Poor John

Enosh Bansode Photography

For her dance,
the King would grant her
anything . . .

Pair o' pretty feet
cost poor John his head, his head.
Pair o' pretty feet.

Pair o' shapely legs,
now poor John is dead, is dead. 
Pair o' shapely legs.

Pair o' swaying hips
cost poor John his head, his head.
Pair o' swaying hips.

Pair o' lying lips,
now poor John is dead, is dead.
Pair o' lying lips.

for the Haiku Challenge - Day 22

17 comments:

Fred Rutherford said...

MZ, really cool repetition here, love the song-like rhythm to the piece, I feel bad for Poor John now. Also, perhaps it's my perverted mind, but I love how everything is lower anatomy, then you threw the curveball with the lips there at the end, or was it a curveball at all? Great piece. Thanks your haikus rock each and every time.

Heaven said...

You do wonders with this form MZ~

The repetitive lines are effective and the over all tone is a chilling haiku set ~

Thanks for all your support over at HC~

hedgewitch said...

There are some women you just shouldn't turn down. (At least I think that's why she had that thing about his head--I kinda dropped out of bible school young.) This is rather unusual, a haiku song that makes me think of belly-dancing dark women and the sweetness of revenge...instead of delicate cherry blossoms falling on moonlit water or something. I like it.

Fireblossom said...

This afternoon on the bus, an older black woman across from me started babbling about the "blood o'Jesus" and ranting in tongues. It was really annoying, as I was trying to read.

I think she sensed haiku forming in the spirit of the rider to my left.

Sylvia K said...

You never cease to amaze me, MZ! Wonderful as always and an inspiration! Have a great evening.

Sylvia

ab said...

This makes me think of a dark, creepy school-yard rhyme. Chilling and oh so good!

Brian Miller said...

and his head on a platter...def you bring a haunting to the biblical tale...

Susie Clevenger said...

Biblical is not pretty and you captured that...Nice work! btw...for Kenia's challenge today on Real Toads I chose your poem Flirtation and wrote my response Frostbite Flirtation...mine was dark to your light. :)

J Cosmo Newbery said...

Really like the way you have Haiku-ed here. A cute use of the form. And the picture is spot on.

Laurie Kolp said...

Haunting, chanting-like.

Enigmatic Soul said...

Splendid use of repetition. Interesting and unique. Well penned.

becca givens said...

Mama Zen - I am glad I checked back to yesterday's prompt - and didn't miss your entry. Delightful interpretation ... I really like it and it fits very well. I think this image inspired some great shining pieces!! Thank you for sharing.

Anonymous said...

I liked how you ended with the repetition of "pair o' lying lips" because it almost sounds like "paralyzing lips" ... and that they were. The king was putty in her hands.

~Shawna
rosemarymint.wordpress.com

ayala said...

Nice! I liked the repetition :)

Someone is Special said...

I like the sad story in this.. :-)

myheartslovesongs said...

your haiku are on an entirely different level than we mere mortals, MZ! if i read your poems first, i never would write mine.

SweetTalkingGuy said...

Wonderful! I sang this out loud!!