Friday, February 3, 2012

Musings Of A Southern Lady




Temptation and Confession

Temptation?
Honey, at my age,
temptation is tarnished silver;
the pretty's still there,
but's it's too much work to get to.

***

I admit that in the past
I was led into temptation
once or twice,
but no more!
These days,
you have to carry me.

***

As for confession,
honey, I'm a Baptist.
We don't believe in confession.
We believe in keeping your mouth shut
till you're caught.

Bless your heart!

For the Fireblossom Friday prompt at Real Toads

27 comments:

Brian Miller said...

haha grew up a baptist....so i understand that last one completely...lol...carrying into temptation is a nice touch you know...

Marion said...

I have a hot pink bumper sticker on my truck that says, "S.L.U.T.S. - Southern Ladies Under Trememdous Stress".

Girl, you're never too old for some temptation. My 84 year old Mama has a younger man hitting on her and she loves it. He's 65. LOL!!

Great post.

Fireblossom said...

Somebody hand me my Southern-to-English phrasebook for that last line!

I love the silver comparison. Thanks for being part of my FBF, MZ!

hedgewitch said...

That last verse is almost as good as the first, which is almost as good as the second; been there, heard all that,y'all, but never got the lousy T shirt, cuz I'm a damn yankee who's just been okified--I wouldn't presume. Last line slays, MZ.

moondustwriter said...

hmm up to no good

love it MZ
I want a Tshirt

Grace said...

Love it...and I like that shirt ~

Fred Rutherford said...

That is great, love the acronym, tone of voice and conversational poetics. Excellent job MZ, thanks

Marian said...

i knew someone who wasn't even southern, who would say, if she read this,
"ah, bless her heart, she is SUCH a slut."
love this!

wkkortas said...

Tongue, meet cheek. Wry and just the right amount of fun.

Daydreamertoo said...

Haha... I have a friend in Louisiana, she explained to me what "Bless your heart" means in LA speak... Bad YOU!
Haha

Christine said...

love that ending

Sylvia K said...

I love it! And you are delightfully bad!!

Sylvia

Kerry O'Connor said...

Oh what I reply to Fireblossom's challenge.

High Five!

kaykuala said...

I was seeing a lot of virtues brought forth. What a punch line it is,when 'we believe in keeping your mouth shut till your're caught' Great write MZ!

Hank

Dave King said...

Brilliant. The first stanza made a big impression, but the last is a knock-out blow. For many years I associated with Baptists and was involved with them in their various enterprises. Brilliantly said.

ayala said...

Ha ha love it and the tarnished silver ;)

happygirl said...

The pretty's still there, but it's too much work to get to it. I love this line. Thanks for the smile.

Teresa said...

Love this! It's so true that temptation does get easier to resist with age.

ab said...

That first stanza is a killer -- thanks for the smiles :)

Kay L. Davies said...

Hilarious! This is SO good, Kelli: "the pretty's still there, but it's too much work to get to"! I had exactly such a temptation recently.
K

zongrik said...

that's funny. i also liked the first stanza best

J Cosmo Newbery said...

Love them all!

Margaret said...

tarnished silver. This is just awesome the whole way through and I do so love the southern attitude.

Other Mary said...

Hahahahaha! I wish I had written this!

Old Ollie said...

These days,
you have to carry me...such a great line!

myheartslovesongs said...

LMFAO!

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh, I live in Alabama. So I know exactly what that "Bless your heart" means! ("How quickly can I repeat what I just heard?") What a perfect ending. :)

Around here "God love it" is equivalent. Maybe you can work that line in somewhere.

~Shawna
rosemarymint.wordpress.com