I love the alliteration, the sibilance in the second stanza. Your description of the stark power of words is great. The last stanza is great in its own right. I've met people who create their own reality to defend what they've done. I think that's part of what you're talking about. Also, just the poet's ability to create a situation out of wholecloth to fit a poem together.
I wrote something a bit like this in my head the other day, and I thought of you while writing it. Then I decided it wasn't good enough. I never can make up my mind if I can write well or not.
MZ, very nice. Love the notion of words as weapons, so true, once used you can't take away the damage they caused. The second stanza reads great, I love the way it is set up. and the idea of manufactured memories just adds another element to the piece. Great job. thanks
Ah, it makes me think of all the times I let words out and then wished I could have taken them back - stunning poem - commenting with google cox it won't let me use wordpress
47 comments:
oooh...some pain here.
One of your best. I like the sepia.
xo
Shadows and saintliness
mingling...
ah, yes. really nice. hate those words you can't take back.
I love the alliteration, the sibilance in the second stanza. Your description of the stark power of words is great. The last stanza is great in its own right. I've met people who create their own reality to defend what they've done. I think that's part of what you're talking about. Also, just the poet's ability to create a situation out of wholecloth to fit a poem together.
This strangely fits my week. I feel this.
Your writing has been a little dark, sad lately, hope all is well and you're just using poetic licence. :)
Beautiful prose.
I love the idea of 'memories manufactured to suit the season'
"Words you can't take back
once they've cleaved a heart."
So true.... I'm sorta feeling that right now...
Great write, as usual Mama Z
Surely the history I write is not the history I lived. Good, poignant write.
"it's all light & it's lack" Great contrast. Never heard darkness described quite that way.
You've wrapped up a full package in these few lines--and I don't see how anyone could say it any truer if they used a hundred.
ooh a lot of subtle strength... whoever said those words should watch their back...
there are lots of words i would love to take back if there was a way...Memories
manufactured
to suit the season...ugh... nicely penned mz
MZ, your masterful selection and deployment of words and phrases makes this dense, powerful.
Words you can't take back
once they've cleaved a heart.
Shadows and saintliness
mingling
on a single sepia page.
!
Makes the heart so saddened! This is beautifully voiced...so delicate and wrenching! Poppy :)
no taking them back ...indeed
admire the compression in your write
the impact is elevated with the lack of wordiness
Peace ☮
no taking them back ...indeed
admire the compression in your write
the impact is elevated with the lack of wordiness
Peace ☮
So much within these few lines--full of emotion and wonderful word choice--just beautifully done!
i know beautiful is boring and over used so i wont use it lol
lazily lush ;)
So true...words hurt and you can't take it back...excellent write!
Great line: "once they've cleaved a heart"
I wrote something a bit like this in my head the other day, and I thought of you while writing it. Then I decided it wasn't good enough. I never can make up my mind if I can write well or not.
~Shawna
rosemarymint.wordpress.com
Light and darkness, but mostly the latter ~
Lovely write MZ ~
Words... so powerful
memories manufactured to sooth (or suit) a season...that is the line that caught me...great power in few words...
Wow Mama, that last line is super intense!
Amy
Perfect halves of a broken heart. - Brendan
I get the feeling of old letters, maybe professing a love that has gone away. And not in a good way.
Cool and tight piece, Mama!
MZ, very nice. Love the notion of words as weapons, so true, once used you can't take away the damage they caused. The second stanza reads great, I love the way it is set up. and the idea of manufactured memories just adds another element to the piece. Great job. thanks
words you can't take back...the words you shouldn't...love this.
Beautiful, true, sad words! I do love it, as always! Thank you!
sylvia
Babs tells me this is her favorite poem of yours, because it mentions saintliness!
"Words you can't take back
once they've cleaved a heart."
...my favorite lines.
Ah, it makes me think of all the times I let words out and then wished I could have taken them back - stunning poem - commenting with google cox it won't let me use wordpress
i just liked the ending verse... memories are manufactured to suit the season... great one!!!(:
The first three lines of this are so strong! It's like a fast rap!!
Dead good!
Profoundness in simplicity....that's your words.
Words we can't take back...I guess we've all been there, and spent time thinking about them...You distill the moments wonderfully. Excellent
Love it - and understand the manufactured memories...
Anna :o]
So good!
Sad, how we say things that hurt, then can't retrieve them. Good write.
such an impresive piece - you work with such care
Oh my...I hate those words I can't take back..I should learn not to speak them
it's business as usual being a human being and poet. great play on love and pain.
shadows and saintliness, manufactured memories
strong and unfortunately, way too true
The heart takes the punch,MZ! Beautiful selection of words.
Hank
my mother was a great "manufacturer of memories" ~ wonderful write!
♥
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