You are the dark laugh
at the bottom of the glass,
the icy glint of ten till two,
the telltale scrapes
of a key
trying blindly to find its way home.
Your are your own perpetual night
emaciating bone and blood
to attitude in thigh high boots
and sighs.
You are a mess
of merging melancholies,
pheromones, and phone numbers
sticking to the floor.
You are a Wish You Were Here postcard
fluttering to rest
on the thrift-store rug
of memory
lying.
For dverse

38 comments:
What a voice tonight MZ ~ And that last verse tells packs a story ~
I'd say you thought all the way through the drink. Fine, fine assay, MZ -- so many of your poems are clearing the fences these days. - Brendan
ooh, love this, another fine lament.
"You are a mess of merging melancholies,"
a line I shall always remember!
That ending is awesome, totally awesome moment at the pink floyd shows I've seen. ONe of my favorite songs by then. But yeah, the yearning, missing is a postcard in itself isn't it? Really like the word choices here a lot, really mixed it up throughout. Great job. Thanks
the dark laugh at the bottom of the glass, the perpetual night, mess of merging melancholies...and still...oh made me think of that pink floyd song...
I love "you are a 'wish you were here' postcard."
Standing "O" on this one Mama! Wish I didn't see so much of me in it though.
No one ever says it better or more true, MZ.
Sylvia
memory always paints itself a bit bit different doesnt it...smiles...really some nice descriptors MZ...
I love 'mess of merging melancholies.' I can picture this!
made me think back to the last call/closing time of one of my many late weekend nights...
Some of those lines are amazing.
Phewww... deep, dark and sensual but, sad too.
I can only agree with @Daydreamertoo ...very darkly written...and good!
nice embrace of deep emotions
You are a Wish You Were Here postcard
fluttering to rest
on the thrift-store rug
of memory
lying.
Love these lines, great!
I agree with Brendan. I'm glad I read his comment cos I missed that closing-time clock the first time through.
heavy stuff there MZ -- deep, dark, and sad! Keep them comin' :)
Fine fine poem, MZ--every image spot on, powerful and speaking for itself, especially that last telltale word. Got the goose on the grave thing going on now.
A mess of merging melancholies -- remind me to stay away from that action okay?
AWESOME one, Mama Z!
xo
Wonderful wordplay, too bad postcards are so out of date huh?..haha
Such an accurate portrayal of night life.
love the icy glint of ten till two and the perfection of the line break between thigh high boots and sighs. Great alliteration here as well. And the last word, well placed. Wonderful.
Fabulous-- I feel and see your voice strengthening, your sense of craft growing. Very exquisite and again, deceptively simple! xxxj
That is brilliant, dark, sad and too true all rolled together in some pretty biting phrases. I like it so much it hurts.
Mama Zen, for 10 years I was the 'closing' bartender. Your piece here brought back visuals to me of several thousand nights of seeing thousands of peeps to the door.
I had to hold many of them in vertical position...until I realized over time...it was THEY holding ME in a standing pose.
Your words so true, almost as if you were there--grin! Hmmmmm!
Loved this one.
PEACE!
Just terrific. K.
Love this!
I love the dark laugh at the bottom of the glass, but it was the third stanza that really lifted it for me.
Wow, I think I saw her in the club on New Year's Eve.
"a mess
of merging melancholies,
pheromones, and phone numbers
sticking to the floor."
yeah, that was her.
Great ending and the whole poem is dark and lovely for it.
nice tropes in this piece….you made the analogies well.
especially the final coup de grace:
"You are a Wish You Were Here postcard"
very nice write.
Wonderfully consistent voice throughout this. The impact is cumulative, and what a great windup. That image will take a while to wear off...Excellent piece.
how do you descibe someone about who you hold such feelings?...its tough to do... but you do do it... and sooo well...excellent mama
Wowzers, this is just so good!
This is crazy good.
Wonderful! Love the memory... lying. What a way to leave us.
I love this:
"You are a mess
of merging melancholies,"
~Shawna
(rosemarymint.wordpress.com)
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