Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Wish You Were Here

You are the dark laugh
at the bottom of the glass,
the icy glint of ten till two,
the telltale scrapes
of a key
trying blindly to find its way home.

Your are your own perpetual night
emaciating bone and blood
to attitude in thigh high boots
and sighs.

You are a mess
of merging melancholies,
pheromones, and phone numbers
sticking to the floor.

You are a Wish You Were Here  postcard
fluttering to rest
on the thrift-store rug
of memory
lying.

For dverse

38 comments:

Heaven said...

What a voice tonight MZ ~ And that last verse tells packs a story ~

Brendan said...

I'd say you thought all the way through the drink. Fine, fine assay, MZ -- so many of your poems are clearing the fences these days. - Brendan

mrs mediocrity said...

ooh, love this, another fine lament.
"You are a mess of merging melancholies,"
a line I shall always remember!

Fred said...

That ending is awesome, totally awesome moment at the pink floyd shows I've seen. ONe of my favorite songs by then. But yeah, the yearning, missing is a postcard in itself isn't it? Really like the word choices here a lot, really mixed it up throughout. Great job. Thanks

Claudia said...

the dark laugh at the bottom of the glass, the perpetual night, mess of merging melancholies...and still...oh made me think of that pink floyd song...

Lolamouse said...

I love "you are a 'wish you were here' postcard."

darkangelwrites said...

Standing "O" on this one Mama! Wish I didn't see so much of me in it though.

Sylvia K said...

No one ever says it better or more true, MZ.

Sylvia

Brian Miller said...

memory always paints itself a bit bit different doesnt it...smiles...really some nice descriptors MZ...

Mary said...

I love 'mess of merging melancholies.' I can picture this!

Caty said...

made me think back to the last call/closing time of one of my many late weekend nights...

anthonynorth said...

Some of those lines are amazing.

Daydreamertoo said...

Phewww... deep, dark and sensual but, sad too.

Louise said...

I can only agree with @Daydreamertoo ...very darkly written...and good!

wolfsrosebud said...

nice embrace of deep emotions

ayala said...

You are a Wish You Were Here postcard
fluttering to rest
on the thrift-store rug
of memory
lying.
Love these lines, great!

Fireblossom said...

I agree with Brendan. I'm glad I read his comment cos I missed that closing-time clock the first time through.

ab said...

heavy stuff there MZ -- deep, dark, and sad! Keep them comin' :)

hedgewitch said...

Fine fine poem, MZ--every image spot on, powerful and speaking for itself, especially that last telltale word. Got the goose on the grave thing going on now.

Jannie Funster said...

A mess of merging melancholies -- remind me to stay away from that action okay?

AWESOME one, Mama Z!

xo

Pat Hatt said...

Wonderful wordplay, too bad postcards are so out of date huh?..haha

Teresa said...

Such an accurate portrayal of night life.

Beth Winter said...

love the icy glint of ten till two and the perfection of the line break between thigh high boots and sighs. Great alliteration here as well. And the last word, well placed. Wonderful.

jen revved said...

Fabulous-- I feel and see your voice strengthening, your sense of craft growing. Very exquisite and again, deceptively simple! xxxj

Katherine Krige said...

That is brilliant, dark, sad and too true all rolled together in some pretty biting phrases. I like it so much it hurts.

Steve E said...

Mama Zen, for 10 years I was the 'closing' bartender. Your piece here brought back visuals to me of several thousand nights of seeing thousands of peeps to the door.

I had to hold many of them in vertical position...until I realized over time...it was THEY holding ME in a standing pose.

Your words so true, almost as if you were there--grin! Hmmmmm!

Loved this one.
PEACE!

manicddaily said...

Just terrific. K.

Bodhirose said...

Love this!

Dave King said...

I love the dark laugh at the bottom of the glass, but it was the third stanza that really lifted it for me.

happygirl said...

Wow, I think I saw her in the club on New Year's Eve.

"a mess
of merging melancholies,
pheromones, and phone numbers
sticking to the floor."

yeah, that was her.

Margaret said...

Great ending and the whole poem is dark and lovely for it.

tinkwelborn said...

nice tropes in this piece….you made the analogies well.
especially the final coup de grace:
"You are a Wish You Were Here postcard"
very nice write.

Steve King said...

Wonderfully consistent voice throughout this. The impact is cumulative, and what a great windup. That image will take a while to wear off...Excellent piece.

Arron Shilling said...

how do you descibe someone about who you hold such feelings?...its tough to do... but you do do it... and sooo well...excellent mama

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Wowzers, this is just so good!

Buddah Moskowitz said...

This is crazy good.

Andrew Kreider said...

Wonderful! Love the memory... lying. What a way to leave us.

Anonymous said...

I love this:

"You are a mess
of merging melancholies,"

~Shawna
(rosemarymint.wordpress.com)