Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Sniff Row Manifesto

Silhouettes with strobe-light hair
and shadow necks that slip the noose
firm to flesh in floodlight eyes
and hang at dawn.

For the "futurism" prompt at Real Toads

17 comments:

Susie Clevenger said...

Nice one...silhouettes with strobe- light hair...you manage to say a whole short story in just a few words... :)

Mary said...

A futuristic nightmare perhaps?

Fireblossom said...

Casualties! More casualties at ADPB! ;-)

Sylvia K said...

No one says it better in just a few words! Now for us gals, that is a terrific accomplishment! Way to go, MZ!

Sylvia

Teresa said...

Fascinating and horrific!

hedgewitch said...

Creepin me out a bit, but otoh, some things are better off hung.

(Somehow, that didn't come out exactly right....)

Brian Miller said...

fascinating visuals...a rather grim end though eh?

Kay L. Davies said...

Ooh, ouch, what an ending. Our does the hair just get hung up until next time it's needed, maybe?
Well done, either way.
K

ab said...

I love the feel the alteration adds to the poem. The slippery s's and the hard f's. They make every line slide and pop.

Heaven said...

Grim visual...still thinking of mine ~

Nice one MZ~

David Saltaire said...

Lovely bit of surrealism. Very nice slipping in and out of bodies. A bouquet of brine-roses to you.

Hannah Pratt said...

I read this and I don't know why but I felt a little creeped out.

Dave King said...

A futuristic Halloween perhaps... Whatever, wonderfully done.

Kerry O'Connor said...

Each line does wonders with analogy, spare and vividly-written in the tradition of futurism.

Laurie Kolp said...

The ending does leave me hanging...

Margaret said...

shadow necks that slip the noose

my twit of a brain doesn't fully understand this... but it rolls off the tongue beautifully and I adore the imagery of the line I posted above...

Fred Rutherford said...

Love this MZ. Can be interpreted in a few ways, as either being so close to shadows or nooses in the negative connotation or in the positive being that escape. Last line threw me for a bit as far as this last interpretation went but then I recalled how shadows hanging at dawn could mean just that. Great job, love pieces that can be read a few ways. Thanks.