Monday, January 16, 2012

Bubbles


Bubbles pop
like points
of punctuation,
like gassy leavings
in a landfill,
like vessels
in your asphyxiation 
eyes.

Submitted to Real Toads

32 comments:

Kathe W. said...

yow! Well done.

hedgewitch said...

I think you're enjoying it too much.

Seriously, good one--last line is straight to the jaw--or throat, as the case may be.

Sylvia K said...

You are SO good at this! I love it! Have a fun week!

Sylvia

Other Mary said...

Succinct and powerful.

Fireblossom said...

Is that any way to talk to Michael Buble?

ayala said...

Nicely done!

kaykuala said...

MZ,
Gives a feeling of a slow death building up. I could feel the chill as I continue reading.Great write MZ!

Hank

thingy said...

I admire the poet who can say so much with few words. This is wonderful. : )

awakenedwords said...

Beautiful and haunting.

Margaret said...

like points of punctuation... nice!

Jinksy said...

Asphyxiation? My nose is gasping for air... LOL

Sioux said...

"like gassy leavings
in a landfill..."

What a chilling image.

Heaven said...

Love this MZ ~

Kerry O'Connor said...

Three highly original similes to capture the essence of the pic.

Laurie Kolp said...

I do love your shorter verse... it's always so powerful, leaves me in awe.

Teresa said...

Chilling and to the point!

Mary said...

I like a poem that can make its point quickly, succinctly, creatively! This is one of that kind.

ab said...

Good one!

happygirl said...

Pop! like a point of punctuation. Perfect. Pop, like capillaries in the eyes. Seen that. icky. :)

Daydreamertoo said...

Cough, cough cough.... Nice write!

Buddah Moskowitz said...

Everything about this was perfect.
NVS, mosk

manicddaily said...

asphyxiation eyes is a great phrase. (Better even perhaps than Bette Davis ones.) Well, not as pleasant. K.

Claudia said...

i love your bubbles..

Laura said...

oh how wonderfully creepy!

Fred said...

asphyxiation eyes- that's awesome. Bubbles pop like points of punctuation- again, awesome. Great piece MZ, great read. Thanks

Steve Isaak said...

Some great word pairing going on in this - succinct, sharp, good read.

Nicholas V. said...

Great take on this Magpie. So many of us took the drowning angle and made so much of it in wonderfully different ways!

Helen said...

Wow .. this is incredibly strong. (still laughing at Shay's comment)

Dave King said...

Clinical, powerful and beautiful with it.

Isabel Doyle said...

Great lines Mama Zen

Tess Kincaid said...

Asphyxiation eyes...love it...

Kold_Kadavr_flatliner, sub/dude said...

Writings good for thy soul, dear, and you can take anything from anywhere offa our blogs (like Jimmy Hoffa RIP). Just puh-leeze meet me in the Great Beyond, girl, for the Abyss o'Misery ain't too cool. Again, how I’d looove to kiss your feets and cuddle with you after I brushed my teeth in Heaven (will we need to is the question) HawrHawr Truly, I love you, miss gorgeous, and I don't wanna spend my eternity Upstairs without you. God bless you.