Friday, November 18, 2011

Soap

Mama made me suck soap till I spit suds,
till I sputtered and choked and swore that I'd
never!  never!  say such a word
as the word she heard me say that
day when I was chasing little Eddie
away from my collection of earthworms.

But, it seems I was born with a dirty
mouth.  Just as I've sworn to quit swearing, a
"Bullshit!  Fuck You!" slips out, and it
feels so fine to cross the line of
proper ladylike behavior that I
(sorry, Mama) savor every word.

For the "staccato" prompt at dVerse

27 comments:

Fred said...

Nice take on the staccato, really liked the intensive flow here, great job. Thanks

zumpoems.com said...

Like the staccato and the hint at the original form. So nice to see so much original variants leveraging just what is needed from the original format to create an interesting and vital poem!

Sylvia K said...

Hmmmm I do seem to have similar problems, but at my age I shouldn't admit it! Have a great weekend, MZ!

Sylvia

Fireblossom said...

Ha! Well, you know i think there is an art to cursing well.

The Orange Tree said...

Another side of our life,
well presented.
:)

Heaven said...

Nice form.. it didn't drown your voice.

I can relate to this very well...specially when I am angry ha..ha..

Happy weekend ~

Christine said...

I never swore like a trucker until I worked in a bank. I just posted my staccato, and I think I F***** up the form :(, oh well, enjoyed yours :)

chromapoesy.com said...

I so enjoyed this and the laugh! Thank you.

Beth Winter said...

Close to the staccato form with deviations on the repeats but it was so damn much fun to read out loud, I didn't care. Well done!

bodhirose said...

Haha...this is great, the subject and your form is so much fun. Yeah, I can sometimes let fly a few choice words too--sorry, Mom!

Art and Soul, Ink said...

This is a damn sweet rendition of the form :D Grinning ear to ear how you interleave the rhyming throughout the entire piece... so my style.

The topic and content is adorable, funny yet serious too.

A very pleasurable read!

Claudia said...

haha..be careful...i have a soap bar with me...smiles

Lydia said...

Brilliant! I read the prompt and knew I'd have to think about that one.

Mary said...

Sometimes a woman's just gotta say what she's gotta say, damnit!

jaerose said...

Nicely done..never say sorry..there is no more soap..fuck and bullshit as merrily as you like..just because you can..Jae

hedgewitch said...

Swearing is the perfect accompaniment to life, in my opinion. This form baffled me utterly--you make it look effortless. Excellent job. MZ.

Lolamouse said...

It is the forbidden nature, I think, that makes cursing so attractive at times!

Tammie Lee said...

our mama did that too
it worked on my brother and me
but my sister
she liked the taste of them suds ;-)

great piece

Yousei Hime said...

I laughed out loud on this one (having slipped a few times myself). Maybe I should call my Mom ... uh, nope. She wouldn't like it and I hate soap.

Fun, fun, fun to read.

Dave King said...

Excellent. I chickened out of that one. You put me to shame.

manicddaily said...

Hi Mama Zen. Understand the impulse tremendously well --unfortunately--and you express wonderfully. K.

Caty said...

It's never much fun to be ladylike all the time!

Marion said...

I cuss like a sailor. I never said a cuss word till I gave birth at age 19 and that did it. Cussing got me through labor and delivery. Now I'm a potty mouthed grandmother. Great write, Mama Zen!! xoxo

Eric 'Bubba' Alder said...

I've found that a handy way to curtail one's swearing habit is to utilize replacement words instead.

After awhile, you'll find "Oh sugar!" or "Son of a biscuit!" works just as well, without any harmful side-effects.

Caty said...

I read somewhere that your bday was today :)...Happy Birthday!!!

happygirl said...

I could see the word bubbling forth.

unsungpoet said...

Far-fucking-out!