Saturday, October 15, 2011

Unsaid

Hey, Mama, whatcha doing?
Where do you want to be buried?

I'm just hanging out, watching the game.
Feeding tube?  Ventilator?

Is everything okay down there?
Living will?  DNR?

Let me know if you need anything.
Health care proxyPower of attorney?

Talk to you later, Mama.
We're gonna have to talk about this.

Love you.
But, it's too much like saying

Goodbye.

For Taboo Topics at dVerse

33 comments:

Brian Miller said...

yeah, talk about unfun convos...better to get it over though that ways its not always pending...

hedgewitch said...

Nothing more taboo than death--our last disgusting bodily function. Well handled(and not too creepily) here.

Caty said...

yeah, stuff you don't wanna talk about, especially with your mama...but I've already told everyone my wishes!

kaykuala said...

MZ
It's sort of morbid and unpalatable unless have to.

Hank

Heaven said...

Your words are like whips on my skin as I just came back from visiting my ailing folks. I think the missing line is to tell them we love them, living will or not. Nice one MZ ~

tinkwelborn said...

Death...the big taboo.
it's hard.
especially in a society that denies it.
we're (in America) not attuned to death...avoidance is easy.
and Death is final.
good piece...makes you think....about what no one wishes to think nor talk about.

Christine said...

I watched a soap opera with my Mom the week before she died, we should have been talking about us, about her hidden heart, something...anything, too late now.

chromapoesy.com said...

I hear you on these tough conversations though I've had them. The problem is you have to have them again. It's great the way you approached this topic.

lori said...

Ugh. We are totally dealing with all of this right now as my father in law is basically on death's door. It's so hard when families have such different ways of dealing with death. I'm trying to walk lines carefully and not cross them during this tricky time. Definitely taboo subject matter.

Sheila Moore said...

nicely played with the unspoken questions.

Claudia said...

yes - we should more often approach the delicate subjects openly - would help all of us

lynne said...

Oh boy.. reminds me of conversations I had with my Mother..
when she recently passed she had everything already documented..

you told this so well..

happygirl said...

tough convos that have to be had. thanks

Fireblossom said...

...and then it seems as if it's been said out loud, but it hasn't. Saying it might call it to you, and how to live with that, after?

Mary said...

I think we have to talk about all these things earlier rather than later -- feeding tubes, ventilators, etc. to allow the person's wishes to be recorded ahead of time. Otherwise, gulp, we might have to do some guessing or impose our own will on someone else's life and death. I just went through the death of a person close to me. Was so glad the 'orders' were clear. Strong write.

Arron Shilling said...

I heard this, as it hurts

awesome, mamma

Tara R. said...

My parents are getting close to that age when we need to about such things. I'm not looking forward to it.

Fred said...

Definitely not the conversation that you warmly welcome, but you sure have your own style, which I love, and you even make Death fun. Great job, thanks

JANU said...

We do not talk about death, till some one is on the death bed...well written.

Lolamouse said...

This is so true. I have a living will for this reason. People are so squeamish about talking about death, but it needs to be done. Good job.

David Allen Waters said...

I had to have this convo with my mum right after telling her the doctors said she had four months to live...it was horrible, hardest convo of my life...

Natasha said...

Way too many talks like this in my world lately. It's inevitable they will become more frequent...I have found, in this bit of experience I am building up, the fight always comes from the healthy...rather than from the heart of the one whose actually in it...really, it is only their wishes that matter...oh my, heavy stuff for me today...and well written as it always is round these parts. :)

bodhirose said...

I guess my parents are pretty progressive in some areas. My Dad had a DNR and Living Will in place before he died. Mom is covered too without us having to bring it up to her.

You illustrated the awkward, uncomfortable feelings very well, Mama Zen.

seasideauthor said...

Very good write. A lot of people have mixed feelings here.

Beachanny said...

This is so true, so heavy, so final.
Well written here my dear - now about those t-shirts ;-)

The Old Raven said...

Whoa ... this very good. Done a lot of end of life care ... and ventilator management in my day. I can "feel" this.

darkangelwrites said...

Loved the what you say vs. what you think.

Cheryl said...

This is a great piece. Sad that we in the US find it so difficult to have these conversations. I've found it's vital to just do it. No one escapes death, why not face it and have the decisions in place before they're needed? It's so hard to make decisions during a health crisis.

wolfsrosebud said...

an uncomfortable place to be... nevertheless we're all there at sometime... loved how you formatted a tough subject

Brendan said...

Both my parents are still alive, in their mid-80s, both slowly failing. We got a lot better about talking about power of attorney and wills and such after my younger brother died suddenly, leaving such a mess of a life to resolve -- nothing one gets around to until the fact of dying and death becomes unavoidable. Still, we don't stay on those topics long before looking for something happy to say. Great poem MZ - Brendan

HyperCRYPTICal said...

Excellent write and death is much a taboo subject, yet I have concerns re the clamour to have death 'all wrapped up' in neat, convenient little bundles....

Anna :o]

The Noiseless Cuckooclock said...

haunting,
well penned.

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

How well you convey the feeling, through these terse, bald words!