I pray like I floss my teeth.
Sporadically,
half-heartedly,
and with considerable guilt.
It's as if God is the great dentist in the sky,
rubbing his gloved hands together in gleeful anticipation
of smugly judging me
for my plaque and gingivitis.
Open wi-iiide!
The voice is hot and loud in my ear.
Dirty fingers push and pull at my lips.
I whip my head from side to side,
tendons taut and screaming.
Murmuring
through teeth clenched so hard they crack
no . . . no . . .
No, I don't pray as much as I should.
Or floss often enough, for that matter.
Both leave a bad taste in my mouth.
A conflation poem for Meeting the Bar at dVerse
32 comments:
Very clever, Mama Zen. I floss when I remember. I pray when i remember. Both are important to me, but sometimes I forget. I do brush my teeth two times a day though. Perhaps that is enough; and hopefully God will forgive what I forget.
I love this one! Also I can relate on both counts...bad taste indeed.
It's completely brilliant! I do however love my dentist; I swear she's an angel. Oh and as a fellow jaw clenching, tooth grinder you have my empathy (I broke my night guard on the first night).
The Great Physician, er, Dentist! Too good.
I'm a clencher/grinder too.
You are SO good! (Even if you don't floss & pray as much as you should) It's probably quality and not quantity, anyway!
unapologetic and spritely...i enjoyed your words though i try very hard to to always remember to pray and floss at night~
Nice! The second stanza takes away from the first. We get an opportunity to consider something else while maintaining context. Definitely conflation. What an enjoyable read.
Nice and very unusual take on the prompt ;)
what is flossing? hey long as i get the novacaine you know...smiles. this is really well done MZ...you know that...smiles.
Great contrast b/t the two... you tied them together perfectly with the teeth.
you are good. amazing write here. then I got to thinking, you could always pray while you floss, I'm all for multitasking :)
Nice work--you've roused my primal dread of all dentistry, which is one of the few things that actually can make me pray.
flossing and prayer...both require using the teeth...I like your poem a lot...especially the last stanza
haha - so well done mz..had a conversation with my dentist lately and i said i don't really need to floss teeth and he said: yes you do need, you just don't know it...ugh...think it's the same with prayer...smiles
Masterfully done! I don't floss half as much as I should...and God often gets neglected too :(
Brilliant conflation poetry!
MZ,
Little events can take our attention which otherwise a dentist is always there for comfort!
Hank
... Yeah, and without the irritating maintenance of prayer & flossing you're stuck with ... you. I hate flossing too. - Brendan
This is me. Even though I know flossing is good for health in general and prayer is good for the soul, I oft let both slip to the bottom of the "to do" list. woe.
What a clever conflation! I love it.
Very well done, clever, scarey, biting, ouch.
K.
MZ, awesome contribution to the d'verse prompt- you hit it out of the park. Love this piece, love the tone and style. Great little summation as well. Great job, thanks
I love these lines:
"The voice is hot and loud in my ear.
Dirty fingers push and pull at my lips.
I whip my head from side to side,
tendons taut and screaming."
~arbitrarymeaning.blogspot.com
A clever...great write!
God doesn't seem to yell at me, even though I was taught to pry three times a day, and I don't but the other day, the dentist said I should floss three times a day.
Brilliant Mama Zen - no more need be said!
Anna :o]
I'm with hypercrptical... brilliant and say's it all!
I'm with hypercrptical... brilliant and say's it all!
"It's as if God is the great dentist in the sky,rubbing his gloved hands together in gleeful anticipation of smugly judging me........." (fill in the blank)
This vivid poem is universal. I love it.
Namaste............cj
Perfect!!
I love this so much. There is so much truth and wisdom coming through the quirkiness, it's absolutely brilliant.
Oh Damn! This is excellent!!
Spontaneous round of applause HERE.
This is so good. Well done:-)
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