Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Store Bought Peach

You're like a store bought peach,
all promise on the outside,
but stone beneath the skin.

I hold you in my farm girl hands,
wise to the sweet weight of ripe
and unmoved by a flawless blush;
there is no give beneath my fingers.

Like a store bought peach,
you'll never soften till you rot.

For Open Link Night at dVerse.

39 comments:

Pat Hatt said...

So you'll wait for me to rot before you let those birds peck away?..haha

Wonderful comparision.

Heaven said...

hard hitting words... i like these lines ~

"You're like a store bought peach,
all promise on the outside,
but stone beneath the skin."

Evelyn said...

that end slams it home.
awesome...

Brian Miller said...

yikes...we used to use those in battles...tight write MZ

theborgpoet said...

Love it. No nonsense or superfluous words...like superfluous!

ab said...

Buy organic! :) "unmoved by a flawless blush" -- my fav line. This one hits it all the way home.

Brendan said...

Sounds like you shop at the same supermarket we do. Nothing more contradictory and wrong than gorgeous, stone cold peach.

Natasha said...

My god, you make me smile! These farmgirl hands know exactly what you're talking about...and I love the finish! Let that dagger fly! Wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of your biting wit!

Eric 'Bubba' Alder said...

That's why it's best to grow your own. (Though peaches don't fare well here in Michigan) Nice one, Mama Z!

Claudia said...

gulp - this last line - dang!
i know such peaches and i know such people and now they're forever connected...excellent mama zen

mairmusic said...

Yes!-- great imagery here. just got a mealy white peach in the grocery--- such a disappointment after the ripe deliciousness of those of my youth-- perhaps a metaphor for my current dating life (: Love your words. http://mairmusic.wordpress.com/2011/07/29/week-146-it-digs-in-so-deeply-so-far/

haikulovesongs said...

i'll never look at a peach the same way again!

love, Love, LOVE this, MZ!

waysidewordgarden said...

That last line is a zinger!

Daydreamertoo said...

This gives me shudders.
I used to enjoy peaches until I bit in one once and the gap in the peach left from the bit had a small worm wiggling in it~!
Ohhhhh yuck!
This is powerful writing, telling it like it is and no mistake.

Tom Eliot said...

A brilliant comparison - Im with Brian this write is tight and hits the mark true as an arrow hitting a juicy peach....

Fireblossom said...

A close friend once said to me, "It would scare people if they knew how much you see about them." She could have been talking about you, too. After reading this merciless little dust-off, remind me to stay on your good side!

hedgewitch said...

The difference between homegrown and storebought is light years, and you nail it all here in some fine tight writing that leaves no room for any extenuating arguments in favor of a blushing cosmetic emptiness. Last line is killer.

chromapoesy.com said...

Razor sharp. Ouch!

Lady Nyo said...

What I love about your poetry, Mama Zen, is its sparseness, you get right down to the essence without farting around with too many words.

Zing. This one has great sting.

Lady Nyo

Randy Behavior said...

Mmmm, best off the farm. They still have the stone but enough sweet and delici
ous flesh you don't mind so much. :)

Titanium said...

Sliced and diced. Cleanly.

The stone-hard peach didn't begin to blunt your edge, that's for certain! Well done.

lynne said...

ouch.. i like this poem.. nicely compressed with enough "pow" to wake up the reader..
yes indeed, my kind of write..short, sharp, memorable

wolfsrosebud said...

Powerful ending.

Patricia said...

what's not to love about you farm girls?! You can tell by the feel and you know one when you see one. You are a peach!... the real deal. great write.

Tara R. said...

That is one delicious analogy.

iblogmoore said...

We have all had a peach or two in our lives, you've said what many want to and never do, this is fabulous writing it is feelings on our most human level!

Christine said...

Always buy those peaches, and I am always disappointed.

ayala said...

This is awesome! So good!

Glynn said...

Excellent, Mama Zen.

Sylvia K said...

Fantastic, MZ!! No one says it better!

Sylvia

Louise said...

ooo what a bite you have! lol ..brilliant write..

WINDOWLAD said...

..ah, i like the wit your wrapped in those very lines.. so much to learn about.. gracious!(:

~Kelvin

Cad said...

Those last two lines pack a punch - peach flavoured though they be...

Mark Kerstetter said...

Simple, direct and right on. Great last line.

HisFireFly said...

"wise to the sweet weight of ripe"

love.this.

Quotes,Photos and a little Poetry said...

creative metaphoric description of a peace and a hurtful person

Poetic Soul said...

Farm hands that sure know how to write good poetry

RMP said...

"wise to the sweet weight of ripe / and unmoved by a flawless blush"... if only we all were so wise.

Lolamouse said...

I wish I could photocopy this and sneak it into every 7th grade curriculum! But I suppose it needs to be learned from experience.