Saturday, July 30, 2011

Watered

Bed me in the summer grass.
Crush the tender green beneath.
Pray me like a pagan mass,
communion clenched between your teeth.
But, should you let my tithe plate pass
and offer naught but watered words,
I'll drown you in the summer grass
and leave your body for the birds.

A very loose take on the prompt "water" at dVerse.

32 comments:

Fireblossom said...

Sounds reasonable to me.

Brian Miller said...

all bow down..i used to go to this church that if you did not tithe every one knew...that was not a good thing...

Christine said...

I'm going to have a hard time concentrating in church tomorrow, especially when the offering bag goes by.

Stranger said...

beautiful!

haikulovesongs said...

"Pray me like a pagan mass"

love it! and the ending is perfection!
dani ♥

Sylvia K said...

Hey, sounds good to me, too!! Love that "pagan mass"!! Terrific and made my evening!

Sylvia

Richard Cody said...

Wonderful.

ab said...

All or nothing.

Sheila Moore said...

I am with Fireblossom - sounds more than reasonable to me...lol. great one, Mama Zen....(wait for it)....after dark!

Alice Audrey said...

Yipe! *tiptoe-ing away*

Louise said...

Lol...I think we all have these 'dark' thoughts from time to time! *runs away* ;)

blueoran said...

Yeah, sorry Charlie, the gals don't want a lover with good taste, they want one that taste gooood ... I knew Fireblossom would amen; I ahem then nervously (though adamantly) commend. Yikes, talk about performance anxiety, the lover told to shaddup and giddyup ... Brendan

lynne h said...

Indeed.. could almost be inscribed on a card for first dates..

loved the double meanings here..
well done

Heaven said...

"offer naught but watered words"

i love your poem - strong and gutsy ~

Pat Hatt said...

Scary let's just pretend you never saw me ok, I don't want those birds picking at me..haha

ayala said...

Beautiful !

poemblaze said...

Well written and a bit scary at the end!

hedgewitch said...

La Belle Dame sans Merci, indeed. Love the tight rhyme and meter--very effective here.

anointedruins said...

Now that's a tithing appeal with teeth in it!

David

Daydreamertoo said...

Phewww, remind me not to 'cross' you. (pun intended)
Powerful images and fiesty, too.
A very enjoyable read~!

Olivia said...

Ouchhh! Smile at me now- will you??

Hugs xox

jen revved said...

love this-- you have a delightful wit, and gave it full reign/rein herein. xxxj

Laurie Kolp said...

I love this... especially the first line.

Tom Eliot said...

This write kicked my ass! brilliant.

wolfsrosebud said...

Interesting twist of words

Natasha said...

Nothing like paying your 10% and getting redemption in return! Loved this! Seriously, lovely images, biting tone, yup...right up my alley! :)

marousia said...

Oh, I love this - perfect

kez said...

Ouch ....but beautifully written ..thank you

bodhirose said...

I really enjoyed the "edginess" of this!

kaykuala said...

Tithe giving is a form of cleansing for oneself. A way of sharing for those fortunates to those deprived. You have done well to highlight it!

sharplittlepencil said...

When a pastor's wife says her favorite line is, "Pray me like a pagan mass," you know you're on to something! Wow, blown away by the active, commanding verbs at the beginning of lines here, loved it. Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/08/03/normal-is/

Anonymous said...

"Pray me like a pagan mass,
communion clenched between your teeth."

Love this.

~Shawna